I Love College
by TheNarutardTwins
Summary: Ninja go to college. Deal with it. AU
1. Packing

The pink-hared twenty year old stared at her pink leather suitcase full of clothes. She's getting ready to go to college.

What are you talking about? _Ninja don't go to college?_ Well duh, of course they do.

Sakura, Naruto, Sai, of team seven, and many other ninja are taking a break from being ninja from the Hidden Leaf Village of Konoha.

_Why? Who else will protect us?_ Is what you're probably thinking. Well, here's the answer: Ninja that aren't going to college will obviously protect you citizens to make sure no idiots will come and try to kill you.

And then there's the why part. Why? Simply because they want a break, like said before.

_How long are we gonna be gone? When will we be back for break? _Sakura wondered. She also wondered who would be there. Her mind stormed with questions.

_Man, I hope Naruto doesn't go to the same college I am!_

"Sakura!" Her mother called. "You better be ready by now! You've been packing for hours!"

Sakura twitched. _I've only been packing for an hour, thanks Mom. Plus, I have to look good for the cute guys!_

"Yeah, Mom, I'm done packing." Sakura said in an annoyed tone. She looked at her white clock. It was 8:00 AM.

Sakura sat on her white, satin-covered bed and looked around her room. It was all white, and seriously, _everything _was white. The only thing that really stood out in her room were the old pictures of Team 7, and the pink carnation flower that was standing in a vase on a wood-made, painted white dresser.

"_Come on, Sakura!_" Her Mom hollered.

Sakura arched her brows, and made a fist at nothing. She moved to her mirror and stared at herself.

"I. AM. COMING. MOTHER." She stomped out of her room.

Sakura's mother was sitting at the glass table on a cushioned chair, eating sushi.

"Yes, Mom?" Sakura asked in an annoyed tone.

"Don't get all attitude with me, young lady." Her mother said calmly. "Anyway, do you mind cleaning the dishes tonight?"

Sakura's eye twitched. Her Mom's head turned to Sakura with a questioned look.

"Mom, you know I have to go to college tonight."

"Well, then, where's your suitcase? Isn't your flight at nine?"

Sakura's eye twitched again. It seems to do that a lot, doesn't it?

_SERIOUSLY! How could I forget MY SUITCASE?_ Sakura groaned and walked back into her caramel-smelling room; the smell came from an air freshener plugged in at the right wall.

She came back into the kitchen and set her_ one_ suitcase by the fern plant.

Sakura's mother looked at her daughter with a shocked look.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"One suitcase?" Her Mom asked.

"Yeah, so?"

Her Mom smiled and waved her hand away. Sakura turned to go into the living room, but her Mom stopped her with a chuckle.

_Cha! She's acting as if I always pack with more than one suitcase! That I can't live without all my other stuff!_

Sakura turned to her mother.

"Hon, you need all of your things. Not just your one suitcase. You're gonna be there for a while until Christmas break."

Sakura tangled her hands together in front of her, and held them out. She went to her room and went to go pack _all _of her things, like her mother instructed her to.

Sakura stared at her now five suitcases full of her things.

"Mom, I'm done packing!"

She heard footsteps coming towards her room. Her mom appeared at the doorway. Her eyes almost exploded out of her eyes.

"_Five suitcases? _From one?" Her mother said in a low voice.

Sakura smiled and nodded. "You said _all of my things._"

Her mother laughed. _True_, she thought.

Sakura stared at her digital clock. It said 8:30 AM.

"DUDE, MOM! WE GOTTA GO! I GOTTA GO!" Sakura shouted. She ran out of her room.

"What about your stuff?" Her mother called.

Sakura skidded to a stop and turned around to go get her things. One by one, she got all of them to fit into her red porshe.

Her parents waved at Sakura from the door after they finally let her escape from their million hug's and goodbye's.

Sakura put her keys in the ignition, put her big black sunglasses on, and started the engine. This was it. A new chapter would begin for Sakura Haruno.

"DUDE! I DUNNO WHAT TO PACK!" The blonde-haired-knuckle-headed-twenty-year-old ninja exploded.

Sai stared at him like a doofus.

"Just get some clothes and yadayada. Pajamas, under—I mean boxers, daily clothes, yeah, yeah. Don't wear those stupid PJ's you used to wear on missions though. Or the Chuunin uniform thing."

"WHAT!? THEY NOT STUPID!" Naruto shouted at Sai, who was already packed and stuff.

"Will you please hurry up, it's 8:30."

"8:30!?" Naruto cried. He digged through all of the ramen cups he had in his wooden dresser. Cheese ramen, chicken ramen, he seriously had just about all of the flavors.

After about five minutes going, Naruto just started stuffing things in his suitcases. Sai sat on his bed.

"Come on pretty boy, help me!" He bellowed.

Sai's eye twitched.

"If you're calling me "pretty", I'm not. And you know what I mean."

"WHHHHHAAAAATTTT!?" Naruto's eyes bulged and he abruptly turn his head away from his dresser and gawked at Sai.

"Time's ticking, stop spazzing and let's go." Sai muttered.

"I heard that!" Naruto said as he closed his suitcases.

"Now help me put these in my car cause I'm driving you, lousy freeloader!"

Sai helped Naruto put his two suitcases in his car. Sai's belongings were crammed in the back seat.

_I really hope Sakura's there! I gotta look cute for her so I can make a move on her!_ Naruto thought while putting the keys in the ignition of his black BMW and backing out of his driveway.

"Hurry up and drive and stop thinking about Sakura. We have twenty minutes. You better be lucky I decided to help you pack."

Naruto mumbled something unintelligent.

They hit ninety when they got on the highway.

"Dude, slow down!" Sai exclaimed.

"SHUT UP, OR YOU'RE WALKING!"

Sai groaned and muttered a flow of cursing words. Gradually, Naruto slowed down.

They kept driving until they saw the airport. Naruto was about to turn right to get off the highway, but there was something blocking the way. He clutched as the steering wheel and abruptly pulled over to the side, letting the other cars pass through.

"Road. _Closed._" Naruto said in a low, deadly voice. Sai looked at him, seeing how hard Naruto was clutching at the steering wheel.

"ROAD CLOSED SAI! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME OVER TO HELP ME PACK! NOW WERE GONNA BE LATE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Naruto shouted.

"Dumbass, I _did_ come over and I _did_ help you pack."

"THE ROAD IS CLOSED!"

"I see that. Now just use your little dinosaur brain and turn the steeling wheel and get back on the road."

Naruto threw a glare at Sai and turn the wheel a little while still staring at him.

"Little more," Sai chuckled. Naruto moved the steering wheel a little more. The wheels in the front turned.

"More," Sai was laughing now.

"No, I have a _dinosaur brain._" Naruto said in that deadly voice again.

"Yes, that's right." Sai closed his eyes and smiled.

Naruto through a punch at Sai's face, but Sai caught Naruto's fist and settled it back on the wheel.

Naruto groaned and looked at his rearview mirrors.

And that's when he noticed something. Another car was parked behind him.

A red, glossy car.

Sakura.

_Oh my god._ Naruto thought. He hadn't seen Sakura in _years_, and she's right there, sitting in her car.

Which obviously means she'll be going to the same college as them.

_Naruto's probably in awe that Sakura's going to our college._ Sai thought. He rolled his eyes.

He needs a girlfriend.

_Shit! Is that NARUTO!?_ Sakura yelled at herself in her head, if that was even possible.

**A/N: Sooo, this is chapter 1~ We hope ya guys enjoyed it! ^^ **

**PLEASEEPLEASEPLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT A NARUSAKU STORY O_O…**


	2. Plane Trip

Chapter 2 - Plane trip!

Sakura quickly took off her big sunglasses and just stared in bewilderment. Naruto stared back with huge, fusion blue eyes. _Thump thump… _his heart went.

"Sa…Sakura-ch--" The pink-haired female placed her sunglasses back on in less than a second and scowled in a false voice,

"I don't know who the hell you are, but you're blocking the road!" She backed up, turned around and quickly sped down the road-

Only to be stopped by an older version of Naruto. Let me rephrase that.

Only to be stopped by Naruto's _Clone_. Sakura pounded on the steering wheel, took a breath and used her thumb and index finger to lift off the shades off gracefully.

She glared,

"What do you want Naruto? I'm in a rush." He placed on one of his goofy smiles, and then a thumb up.

"I'm going to college! Believe I--"

"Yadda Yeah… I believe-WHAT!? How'd you get accepted to college?" Her eye twitched with anxiety, wanting to wring that freak. Naruto's clone disappeared into a puff cloud of smoke, reappearing the real Naruto who was rocking back and forth on his tiptoes to his heels, whistling a fairly off tuned melody.

"Let's say Ero-Senin helped me out on some classes…" Sakura cocked her head to the side, thinking of what class could that _perverted_ Jiraiya could have taught-

Oh. Well that was quite obvious.

"Don't tell me he taught you…" She raised her hand, extended her quivering finger at Naruto, shuddering in disgust. Red blush spread out toward the both of the uncomfortable Ninjas-who-aren't-ninjas-but-consider-themselves-as-ninjas-just-going-to-college-as-normal-peoples's faces.

"A-ano… (Um…)" The blonde-headed person shifted his eyes to the side. Sakura could not believe what she was hearing through her poor, poor virgin ears.

"B-But at least I'm accepted at college right?"

_Of course, __Naruto. Cha, you sicken me. _

"See! This is how it went! It just started when Ero-Senin was just walking…" Naruto then rambled on…

_~Flashback of a week ago~_

"_Naruto!" Jiraiya shouted through the woods as our week younger Naruto was practicing his Rasengan again aiming for a tree. He whipped around, happy to see his Sensei and hoping he will not go sexy-no-jutsu on him._

"_Ero-Senin! (Perverted teacher)" Jiraiya jumped off from the branch he was standing on, steadily heading to Naruto. Once he was standing in front of him; his smile quickly turned into a flat one, and his eyes became very serious, staring into Naruto's eyes._

"_Have you given some thought in getting into college?" _

"_C-college? Don't I need to pass a class to get into it? Or something like that." The knuckle-headed ninja made his thinking posture._

"_Pass a class? I know a few tricks up my sleeve- get ready to take notes Naruto!" _

"_Hai, Ero-senin!" Naruto stated in a matter with his hand to his forehead like in the army. …Did he sound like Lee, __just right now?__ Well oh dear. _

"_Okay, Naruto!" Jiraiya quickly grabbed a chalkboard that came absolutely from nowhere and a chalk that fell from the sky and started writing on the board, making loud, noisy screeches as he went,_

"_Dumb things… How did the Americans use these when you make such noises…? These aren't making any marks at all!" He mumbled loudly to himself._

"_That's because you're using a small chalk holder. The chalk is right to where you were supposed to get the white stick." Naruto raised an eyebrow, snickering at his teacher of whatever-class-this-is. Jiraiya threw Naruto a look and picked up the real chalk, jolting down notes. _

_-Minutes later-_

"_Okay, Naruto we will start with the male organs!" Naruto sweat-dropped._

"_Ero-Senin…" He looked back, interrupted in the middle of drawing a… male part. _

"_We're guys already." Jiraiya did nothing but snickered and threw the chalk aside,_

"_Okay! Then if you know that much for such well-educated brain, I think you're ready for the truth…" He reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a small orange book with a "no-smoking sign", except with no cigar in the picture, entitled 'Icha Icha Paradise' _

"_Is that make-out paradise?" Naruto pointed at the orange restricted book of… evilness. _

"_Naruto! Stop being so American _(**1)**_ and say Icha Icha Paradise!" Jiraiya cried in agony. He kneeled down, his arm covering his face as he looked down dramatically as coincidently the winds blew against his white, long hair. _

_Jiraiya looked up to Naruto._

"…_It's time." He whispered. He stood up, opening the forbidden book._

"…_What the bull-!" _

"_-_And that's how I increased my vocabulary in sex education!" Naruto announced proudly.

"That has to be the most messed up thing I've ever heard…" a voice came behind them as Sai walked onto the pavement between the two.

"S-Sai?! You're here with that dumb-headed Naruto?" Sakura yelled. "Why? Are you really that stupid enough to-?"

"College." He simply replied. Ah. Naruto couldn't wait any longer, and burst out,

"Sakura! You want to hear what words I lear-"

"I need to go to the airport. Ja (later)." She jabbed the key vigorously and started the engine,

"Okay… Nice to see yah again…" Naruto's voice trailed off. The red car, glowing off the moonshine, raced out of sight.

_Same old Naruto… _Sakura thought to herself.

"CRAP it's 8:50!" he bellowed. Sai sighed and got into the driver seat, letting alone Naruto in the middle of the streets where the pink-headed female's car was to freak and spazz out. An engine could be heard, roaring to its limits.

"Huh?" Naruto turned around, having a "O_O" and ":O" face as Sai buckled his seatbelt, and started to backup…

"C-Chotto! (Wait!) What are you doi--" Naruto's instincts landed him into the passengers seat, clutching the chair for dear life.

"Boom." Sai whispered. His right foot forced onto the acceleration pedal as it sped up right into the closed road. A high-pitched scream wavered through the skies.

The brilliant dark car went soaring, after running into a stop sign, bending it, and then using it as a ramp to fly through the construction sight/closed road.

"**AHHHH! SAI ARE YOU FRIGGIN CRAZY!"** Naruto yelled as high as his lungs would let him go. The car then landed with a loud thud with smoke swiveling everywhere.

"Shut up. I'm taking us to the airport and our plane leaves in seven minutes so if I were you I would just buckle up and enjoy the ride." the dark-haired male replied calmly as he made jagged turns here and there. Naruto stared with a pout face and lay back in his seat, looking out of the window.

"Ugh, finally. In addition, I had thought I would never make it to the airport with that stupid Naruto in my way."

"Passport please." A voice ringed out. Sakura then dug in her bag, pulling out a royal blue booklet.

"Sh-Shikamaru?" She breathed. He sighed as a greeting.

"How troublesome; you're leaving for college too?" She nodded in response and handed over the passport to the lazy deer-I mean Shikamaru. Shikamaru was smart; why wasn't he in college?

"After this I'll be boarding the same plane as you to leave- I also got accepted at the Konoha Glaze College."

"Same college eh?" Sakura laughed. This is somehow coincidental; like it was planned or something.

"Alright. Get ready to board and…do troublesome stuff once we all get into college. What a drag."

"Ahh! Now this is great… more time away from Naruto!" Sakura Haruno leaned back in her seat, watching some Japanese drama show. _I, Sakura Haruno has finally escaped the wrath of Naruto's death grip-_

"SAKURA-CHAN?!" a voice bellowed. The television shut off as babies around started to cry and Sakura's glass of warm water cracked. Oh, the horror.

"What the hell…" She glowered at the one and only…

"_Naruto…__" _Her eyes turned bloodshot. Naruto cringed and quickly dived the seat behind her for cover, for his dear life. Sai looked at Naruto with creeped out eyes and took the seat right next to him.

- minutes later -

"Oy.. Sakura?" The stupid-headed ninja spoke up. The responding female sighed and looked back with death-threatening eyes, warning him to make his move, and if it's a false one, it's a one-way ticket to hell for him.

"Can I tell you what I learned at least?" She blinked a couple of times, and hesitantly nodded. He smiled and coughed a few times to test his vocal cords. She sweat-dropped.

_Shit… he's going to sing!?_ (You can sing it however you want- there's no song to go with this ;_;)

"PEEEEEEEEEEENIS IS THE GUY'S FAVORITE ORGAN AS VAGINAAAAAAAA IS A WOMAN'S FAVORITE ORGAN AND…."

- one minute later - (still singing)

"At first I didn't know what a dildoooooo was soooooo confused-"

"Naruto…" Sakura started. He looked back with a grin. _Slap. _"Shut the hell up."


	3. You were saying?

**A/N: WE DON'T OWN THE ORIGINAL NARUTO CHARACTERS!**

3. You Were Saying?

Naruto rubbed his left cheek after Sakura slapped the shit out of him.

"Sakura, you've turned evil." Naruto pouted. Sakura turned to him with evil eyes. Her brow furrowed.

"Naruto, you are SUCH A DUMBASS!" Sakura slapped him again, but on his right cheek this time. Naruto shifted back into the back of his seat, clutching at the fabric of it. He let out a series of curse words.

Sakura kept her hands in a fist, and turned around. She crossed her arms and started watching the Japanese show that resembled _Dr. Phil_.

Sai simply watched out of the window as Naruto was secretly peering over Sakura's shoulder, his eyes accidentally leading down her shirt.

"Naruto what the HELL are you doing!?" She delivered another punch straight for his nose, giving another glare, she turned and made sure all of her body was covered up from that.. that monster.

Naruto, literally dead from the impacts of all the attacks sat down with a twisted face that seemed to be frozen and stared in front of him--which was Sakura's back seat.

Sakura turned around because she felt like she was being watched.

"Naruto, I changed seats with Shikamaru for a _reason." _She explained. Naruto stared at her, frowning with his eyes.

"Sorry, but seriously." She muttered, and turned around.

"Hey, bro, it's okay. All woman are troublesome." Shikamaru said with a chuckle.

Naruto just nodded and looked down.

"Sai, why do you keep turning your head back to look at us?" Shikamaru asked. Naruto looked up and saw Sai with his head facing them.

_What a stalker. _He thought. Sai turned his head and grinned.

Naruto turned to face Shikamaru, and whispered something in his ear. Shikamaru chuckled again. When Naruto turned his head to look in front of him, Shikamaru whispered back.

"You're serious?" He laughed again. They both started cracking up.

All of a sudden, Shikamaru felt weight on his chair from the back. It made him jump and he turned his whole body--except for his legs and feet--just to be screamed at in his face.

"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO, CAN YOU PEOPLE STOP LAUGHING!? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" A dirty-blonde yelled. Her eyes looked like they were going to explode out of her head, sorta how Sakura's would when she was pissed.

"What a drag," Shikamaru muttered. He put his hand on the girls face.

She looked no older than nineteen, with how short she was. Her skin was slightly tanned; not too tanned though that it looked burnt. Her eyes were a blue-green; they looked hazel at the angle that Shikamaru was looking at. Her dirty-blonde hair was shiny from the light that was turned on above her seat.

The girl grabbed his hand, and set it down gently on the chair.

"Sorry." Shikamaru muttered, and turned around. He crossed his arms in his seat.

Naruto smiled slyly and nudged Shikamaru on the arm. He chuckled.

"Shikamaru," Naruto looked over the chair from the aisle. "She's pretty." Naruto kept nudging Shikamaru by the arm. His face tinted with a slight shade of pink.

He groaned. "Troublesome," he said, and rolled his eyes.

Naruto looked behind the chair again, and noticed that the girl was standing up, with her hands on her chin and her elbows on the chair. Naruto's eyes widened.

"YOU HEARD THAT WHOLE THING!?" He hollered. Sakura turned around to see what was going on and her eyes widened.

"No, just the part where you said I was pretty. I disagree." The dirty-blonde rolled her eyes and grinned.

"Naruto's making friends," Sakura whispered to Sai. He turned around. Shikamaru just sat there with his arms still crossed, mumbling to himself on how troublesome this whole situation was.

"Who are you?" Sai asked.

The girl shrugged with her shoulders. "I'm Alana." She said simply and grinned again.

"Alana..." Sai muttered. He returned his attention to the TV.

Alana sat back down in her chair.

Suddenly, there was a loud beeping noise. The intercom in the front of the "room" of the plane went off.

ATTENTION ALL WHO ARE ATTENDING THIS FLIGHT. WE ARE NOW LEAVING THE AIRPORT. REPEAT, WE ARE LEAVING THE AIRPORT.

Naruto, Sakura, Alana, Shikamaru, and Sai all reached for their Stride pieces of gum and threw it gently into their mouthes. They started chewing. They did to pop their eardrums so getting off the platform that the plane was on wouldn't hurt their heads.

"I wonder who else is on here?" Naruto asked aloud. Nobody answered, though.

* * *

After about an hour on the plane, the group of ninja had fallen asleep from being tired since they all had to wake up early in the morning. It was now 11:00 AM; the flight had been delayed to 10:00 because the pilot was lazy and was late so they had to get a sub.

Hopefully, the sub knew what he was doing, or she. Or she-he.

* * *

The group was fast asleep, slumbering.

_Ramen! Everywhere! and Noodles... falling like raindrops - or wait? Am I in a Trance? Naruto looked around._

_"Who cares! I'm eating this all!" He grabbed a pair of chopsticks out of nowhere and started gobbling the rest of the Ramen down like water on a hot, humid day. A shadow appeared in front of him as the blond-headed ninja rubbed his now roundish belly with grace._

_"Hmm? What's up?" He simply asked._

_"Naruto..." it whispered. He cocked his head to the right and let out a meow._

_"Who's you?" Despite his bad grammar he stood up with all his might, as the shadow neared, it was the figure of a female..._

_"Sa..kura?" He sounded her name out like a first grader. She came in scene with nothing but a belly shirt and underwear. She giggled and came closer to Naruto,_

_"Naruto-kun...take me..." She whispered huskily in his ear. Naruto went flaring red and yelled in joy.  
"Sakura wants me to take her! HAHA!" _

"Sakura want me.. to take her... haha..." He snored in his sleep.

_Clouds were floating, Shikamaru was doing his usual non-troublesome stuff._

_Like sleeping. He rested his head on the palms of his hands, staring at the millions of clouds floating by ever so gracefully, so peaceful.. so.._

Shikamaru then woke with a kick to his chair. Alana snored quietly as her feet kept kicking Shikamaru's poor seat and going unnoticed.

_'Cause I'm Slim Shady yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shady's are just imitating.. Alana did many dance moves._

_Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming. OOH LOOK A FISHY. FIIIIIISHY!_

_Alana touched the fish's gills._

Alana abruptly was woken up from somebody talking. She looked over her seat and saw that it was Naruto.

"Naruto," Alana said. Shikamaru looked up at Alana.

"He's dreaming about Sakura," He whispered. Alana giggled.

"Is she sleeping?" Alana asked. Shikamaru looked over her Sai's chair to see if Sakura was sleeping. Sai was sleeping still too. He sat back down and nodded at her.

"Sakura.. that's too hard.." Naruto muttered drowsily in his slumber. Shikamaru chuckled and Alana just stared at Naruto like an idiot.

"He talks loud in his sleep." Alana mumbled. Shikamaru nodded.

"Shouldn't we wake him up?" She asked. Shikamaru shook his head.

"Leave him like this is. This is hysterical." Alana said nothing in response. Instead, she just watched Naruto sleeping.

He kept grunting and rolling around in his sleep, and after about thirty minutes of it, Alana had enough. She reached over the blue airplane chair and slapped Naruto on the right side of his cheek. Shikamaru glared at her.

_What a drag,_ He thought. _Why are they always so troublesome?_

Naruto woke up, flailing his arms and legs around in his sleep. His head was resting on the left side of the chair on the armrest, which was now sore from sleeping on it for so long.

"AHHHHHHHH!?" He shouted. "WHO DIED!? WHO DIED!? RED ALERT!?!"

Shikamaru slapped him silly.

"WHAT THE HECK!?" Naruto bellowed.

"It's for your own good." Shikamaru muttered. He faced the front and crossed his arms again.

Alana was laughing her butt off at this whole thing.

"Now, Naruto. You were saying?" She said in between laughs.

"What do you mean?" He asked questionly.

"About what you were dreaming about. You were talking in your sleep." Shikamaru turned his head toward Naruto and grinned.

"I WAS TALKING IN MY SLEEP!?" He exploded. Alana nodded and started laughing again. Shikamaru was smiling widely.

"Yeah. Was your dreaming _exciting_?" She roared with laughter.

_I love it!_ She thought. _Wow._ Shikamaru thought. _I'm gonna kill this chick once we're off the plane!_ Naruto thought. His face was steaming red.

Sakura peered over from the top of her seat at everyone, wondering why they were laughing so hard. She also wondered why Naruto's face was so red.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"Saku....ra!" Naruto gasped. His mouth was in the shape of an O. His face grew even redder.

Shikamaru and Alana just started laughing again. _At least Sakura didn't hear what was said about her, right?_

_AAANNKK! WRONG. _

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto gasped again. He shifted his eyes and whispered in a low voice,

_"You were asleep right_." Sakura just smiled. Naruto sighed and grinned in relief. Her smile then turned into a twisted, wicked frown as she gave her most tense glare she had ever given. Ever.

"Except when you said i was too hard...?" She slowly stood up, ready to punch Naruto straight to hell. She got closer... and closer...

"Sa...sa-"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON NARUTOOOOO!" She swung her leg under Naruto's seat,

"SHHHAAANNNNNAARROOOOO!!!" A sickening cracking sound could've been heard throughout the whole plane.

_"Sssssounds of the sssssssssickening kidssss..." _A voice whispered to itself.

"Thisssss'll be fun." Orochimaru laughed to himself as he slowly drove the plane to Konoha Glaze College.

**A/N: Sorry we took forever to update. School got in the way. o-o Yeah. So, review!**


	4. Drop Bombs

**Disclaimer- Me nor Alana owns Naruto or any of its characters. All Characters rightfully belongs to Kishimoto. **

**Alana rightfully belongs to Loopy (MUAHAHAHA, FOR I AM LOOPY!/Alana). **

Once Sakura was done beating the shit out of Naruto _once again,_ she went back to her seat, sat cross-legged and decided not to rest, hoping not to get groped by Naruto. Alana sat back in her seat, feeling slightly sorry for Naruto. Question was... Why?

Let's say that may be the end of Naruto's fatherhood.

"Tsk... Troublesome." Muttered the pineappled-shaped head. Sai was just being... Sai; staring unemotionally at the situation that was taking place. He sighed to himself and leaned back in his seat.

"HOLY SHIT!" Alana screeched at the top of her lungs when she felt the plane drop down.

"Everybody get down!" Shikamaru yelled. Everyone--except for Naruto--obeyed him, since it was probably the only logical thing to do in this sit-ee-ation.

"AWHHH, THIS MAKES MY BALLS HURT EVEN MORE!" Naruto screeched, grabbing the part where the zipper is supposed to zip up. When Naruto realized that it wasn't zipped up, he slightly blushed and zipped it up. _Barn door shouldn't be open..._ He thought.

Suddenly, Naruto found himself on the floor.

"Naruto, you fucking retard! He said to get down, not to zip up your... stuff! Wait! No! That came out wrong! I mean, I'm glad you zipped it up!" Alana just continued rambling on, her facing beating red.

Shikamaru sweat dropped, resting his head on the plane floor.

When there was static being heard on the ceilings--coming from the speakers--everybodys' head jolted up.

"Sssssssoorrrryyy for that." Orochimaru chimed. The plane returned to its normal, um, pace, no longer dropping.

"I can't believe Orochimaru is our fucking pilot sub." Alana muttered, getting up back into her seat. Everyone had their bodies against the aisle carpet.

This time, Alana and Sakura were sitting in front of Shikamaru and Naruto. Sai was squishing in between Naruto and Shikamaru. Alana was in the seat in front of Naruto, and Sakura was in the seat in front of Shikamaru.

"Yeah, so. Do you even know where we're all going?" Alana asked Sakura. Truthfully, she was completely clueless. All she knew was that she was going to a college called Konoha Glaze.

"Well, I heard the the island is a bit south from Florida penninsula." Sakura must've done her research, or something.

"What's Florida?" Naruto leaned forward in his seat, barging into the conversation between the girls. Alana chuckled.

"This is an 'A-B' conversation, so 'C' your way out." Sakura muttered, flicking Naruto on the forehead. This made Alana laugh even harder.

_I swear to fucking God I'm gonna kill that laughing-gas chick! _Naruto thought violently. He imagined himself getting Alana in a choke-hold and choking her to death.

Before he even realized it, Naruto was actually acting it out not just mentally, but for real.

"What... are you doing...?" Alana and Sakura asked, looking freaked out.

"Dude, calm down..." Sai whispered into his ear. Naruto forced himself to shove his hands near his... stuff.

"Why are you grabbing your balls?" Alana asked in a monotone voice, eyeing him up and down.

"Why are you checking me out?" Naruto asked in the same tone as Alana.

"Why are women so troublesome?" Shikamaru asked randomly, shaking his head. Sakura and Alana leaned into his face, glaring at him with death-like eyes.

"WHAT!?" They screamed in his face, looking him right in the eye. His eye twitched, and he leaned back into his chair.

"The women species is troublesome," He said simply, raising his arms to put his hands behind his head. He closed his eyes.

"Dude, are you... pretty?" Naruto asked, his face having that signature stupid look signed.

"No," Shikamaru said simply, arching his right eyebrow.

"Maybe I am..." Sai muttered, grinning.

"WHAT!?" Everyone gasped, beaming at him.

"Just kidding," Sai chuckled, putting his hands in front of him as if he were deafeted.

"Dudes, what time is it?" Alana asked. Sakura pulled out her phone.

"Five."

"IN THE MORNING!?" Naruto screeched, throwing his arms into the air. He recieved a swarm of shooshes and shut ups. It took people long enough to realise what was making the noise, because Naruto wasn't the only one being loud.

"I'mgoingbackta sleep," Shikamaru mumbled drowsily. His words slurred.

Everyone glanced at each other, checking to see who was still up. Sakura, Alana, and Naruto were still up. Sai passed out before Shikamaru did, almost right after he was 'just kidding'.

They gave each other weird faces, and shrugged it off. They decided it's been worth a night with that boisterious Naruto and, besides; they almost got killed when that Orochimaru almost _dive-bombed_ the plane!

Naruto steadily watched as Alana got into her seat, ready for sleep for a few hours before they depart to their destination. He opened his mouth to talk to Sakura, only to be looking at her back as she sat down at her chair and began to rest.

Naruto decided to shut his trap for once and plotted his tush on his plane chair and looked out the window as a question floated around his head, _What's florida anyways...? They never answered my question._

* * *

_Naruto fell on his butt. He stood up and took a glance around the mysterious territory._

_"Where am I, dattebayo? (believe it)" _

_There was a road break in front of him, leading three ways into the wilderness. On his left was a picture of a duck, flapping its wings in the water, the other picture was santa clause, holding a present. The last one to his right was a skull and bone cross, representing death and such. Naruto examined each icon carefully, choosing his path of FAITH! _

_Did he choose Santa Clause? No. Naruto disliked Santa. For some reason he doesn't bring any ramen to his house; only some toys like Dora the Explorer. He thought he was being a really bad boy so he decided not to go his middle path. _

_Which left him the choices of the skull and ducky paths. _

_"A duck..." Naruto muttered to himself. He slowly went to the icon and touched it as it came to life and bit his finger! _

_"AHHHHH! BAD SASUKE! (duck-butt to Sasuke's hair reference)" He shouted, and punched the duck. He wimpered as he glances at the skull, and back to the duck._

_Skull, duck. Skull duck. Does he make a brave choice and takes the Ducky path? NO! He does the exact opposite and took the Skull of death path! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _

_As Naruto strolled along the death path he took another strange look around at his surroundings. _

_"Naruto...." It _whispered_. _**God**_**, not again**__. Naruto thought. He took another look ahead of him and there it was._

_**PEDOBEAR!!!!**_

_My, won't he suffer the consequences? _

Naruto tossed and turned in his sleep, once again and grunted in many ways that were possible.

"Oh my... fucking... Gooooooooooddddddd..." He moaned. This abruptly woke Sai during his slumber and he walked up to the moaning blanket.

"...?" He unconvered a Naruto in a fetal position on his side, with his face with a look of inscriusiating pain. Sai just sat on the aisle, took out his scroll and started painting in it, imitating Naruto's figure.

"S-stop... it!" He gasped in his resting. Sai raised an eyebrow and grinned. He went back to his seat, looking at the horizon as the sun was setting up.

Soon enough, Alana and Shikamaru were woken once again as diliberate sounds came from our number one hyperactive knuckle-head ninja.

"Mhmmmm..." He drooled. Alana rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes as Shikamaru sighed, glaring at the sleepy-head.

"Groaning once again, eh?" The dirty blonde-haired female questioned. He nodded in response. Alana layed one side of her cheek on her palm and observed_. Just wait what Sakura has in store for him_.

"OOOHHHHH MYYY GOOOOOODDDD**--**"** SLAM.**

_**"SHUT THE FUCK UP NARUTOOOO**_**!"** A roar was heard all around. Sakura was heaving in angry heaves as Naruto shot up a slow five seconds later, terrorized for his dear life.

"OH MY GODZ IF SANTA HEARS THIS HE'LL KILL ME**-**"** SLAP**.

"I said," Sakura vigoriously pulled his ear lobe to her lips, "SHUT THE HELL UP NARUTO!".

Sakura recieved the middle finger from a dude that was sitting across from the aisle. Alana shot the finger back at the man, grinning and sticking out her tounge.

"Holy crap, dude! Alana! I was just flipped off by Neji! And you just flipped him off!" Sakura exclaimed. Alana stared at Sakura like she was crazy.

"Who?" Alana asked.

_"Neji Hyuuga_." Sakura answered. "Neji! Sorry for being loud and waking you up!" Sakura whisper-shouted. Huuyga waved her off.

"Sorry I flipped you off, man!" Alana shouted. Sakura shooshed her, telling her to lower her voice.

"People are sleeping still..." Sakura whispered, nodding towards the people in the back, and the people in front of them.

"Since when does anybody care nowadays? Scream this, scream that. 'Hey, let's start a riot! Yeah! Alright! I'll get that riot weaponary stuff!'" Shikamaru muttered, mocking people who started riots.

"Yeah, what--" Naruto was interuppted by being lifted from his chair, as was Alana, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Sai. The guys weren't lifted into the air as much as the girls were.

"WHATHEFUCK?!" Alana and Sakura screamed, grabbing on to whatever they were near. Sakura was clinging on to Shikamaru, while he was mumbling about how 'woman are so troublesome', and how 'this is a drag.'

"HEY, WHO INVENTED THE MIDDLE FINGER!?" Naruto suddenly asked really loud.

"Americans say that President Bush did." Sai answered calmly, not reacting to the plane dive-bomb. **(A/N: We're not Racist! We just happen not to like Bush; and besides, we're both part American too!)**

"Oh, mmkay." Naruto mumbled. "AHHHHHH!" He screamed.

"Late reaction much..." Shikamaru muttered, crossing his arms as he crashed down into his seat.

"Ugh!" Alana yelped while she landed as well.

"I'm gonna nail that Orochimari in the face _so hard_ after he's done flying this plane..." Sakura said in a evil maniac voice. Her eyes blazed with hatred.

As the plane made a awful landing back to normal speed, everyone in the ride groaned in pain.

"Sssssssorry again; kukukuku..." Came the hiss. Neji had enough of this nonsense.

"Hn. I'm going to talk to the pilot." He stood up, and trudged his Hyuuga buttox into the cockpit. (Naruto: HAHAHA COCKPIT! *Gets by Sakura*)

"May I help you, Sssssssir?" Orochimaru smirked. His eyes made an up and down movement at Neji's body. He raised an eyebrow and simply inputted,"Do you have a license?" He looked over his shoulder, "Or at least know how to steer a damn plane?"_A Hyuuga vessel is veryyy interesting. His chakra supple is major. He may be my next perfect body; I must retrieve that body!_"Are you going to give me a reasonable response or act pretty and give me those looks?" Neji spat. Before any other move could be made our Shikamaru came to the rescue and dragged the Hyuuga back into his seat without arguement.

"What the hell was that for?" He complained. Oops, spoke too soon. He gave a troublesome sigh and went back to his seat.

"Neji, why did you do that?" Tenten asked her friend.

"Because he was annoying me." Neji simply answered.

"Hey, you guys! The plane is landing!" Alana shouted excitedly. Sakura took out her phone, checking the time. Her screen said 8:00AM.

"Right on time," She muttered to herself.

"Huh? What was that, Sakura?" Naruto asked while standing up from his chair to stretch.

"Nothing."

Naruto just nodded, sitting back down.

"This is a troublesome plane ride." Shikamaru yawned while stretching. He tilted his face to the side and rested his head on the padded seat, closing his eyes.

"Hey, Shikamaru! Didn't you just hear Alana? We're about to land! Can you hear me?" Naruto shouted. Shikamaru waved him off.

"Yeah, yeah, doofus. I heard you loud and clear." Shikamaru glared. Naruto backed off.

"ATTENTION ALL KONOHA GLAZE STUDENTS: WE WILL BE LANDING IN APROXIMATELY FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE GATHER ALL OF YOUR BAGS AND GET READY TO BOARD OFF THE PLANE." The loudspeaker announced. It must have been pre-recorded, because Orochimaru's eerie voice wasn't heard.

"Guess that's us, guys!" Sakura said cheerfully.

"Believe it!" Naruto shouted, pumping his fists into the air.

"Yeahhhh, baby!" Alana sang.

Sai just sat there with his arms crossed.

Shikamaru was grinning mad, looking down and crossing his arms. "Let's do this thing."

**A/N: Danngg, this thing was long! Akane and I switched on and off. :D Hope ya liked it! R&R if you expect more! ~ Loopy**


	5. Youthful & The Bitch

**Akane: Aww man, disclaimer time. **

**Loopy: WOOO-HOO-- Wait, huh? **

**Akane: LOL. Naruto characters rightfully belong to the one and only, Kishimoto.**

**Loopy: And Alana rightfully belongs to Loopy/Me! **

**Akane: Good job now have a cookie. **

if we DID own Naruto...let's say it would be hell right now for them.

HEHEHEHHEHEHE.

* * *

Our own Uzumaki Naruto raced out of the plane and to the station to retrieve his luggage.

"That damn Naruto...seriously." Shikamaru trudged himself down the plane stairs, followed by Sakura, Neji, Sai, Alana, and Tenten.

The conveyer belt slowly moved in a circle as Naruto dive-bombed a luggage that was near the exit and slid into the darkness along with the baggage. Sakura was in the building just in time to see Naruto's legs hanging out of the opening of the machine. She widened her eyes and ran to the blonde-haired ninja. She quickly tried grasping the end of his foot, only to grab another luggage at the end,

"Shit!" She gasped, as our ramen-loving boy followed the luggage into the darkness, lets say it wasn't a pleasant ride.

"Where'd that idiot go?" Sai questioned, coming next to Sakura.

"Hell." Alana sarcastically inputted. The others gave her a weird look, not picking up the sarcasm. All of the people looked at the wide, circle conveyer belt that stretched a nice twenty four feet in perimeter. Neji Hyuuga simply grabbed his luggage and began walking away.

"You know; you can't just leave Naruto there in complete darkness." Tenten started.

"It's not like he has a case of Nyctophobia." Neji replied in a monotone voice.

"Nyclone--what?" The rest asked. He sighed.

"The fear of the dark."

"Ooooooh." They chorused.

The long, brown haired boy turned around_. Dumbasses, _he thought. The rest stood there, dumbfounded as Neji continued to take his leave. A scream was heard around the station and the voice belonged to no other than Uzumaki Naruto. The scream went for a good five seconds before our pink-haired Konochi piped up.

"Neji." She said in a death-tone. He turned around, only to be grabbed by the collar of his white shirt and pulled close to Sakura's face.

"Use your damn Byakugan and find Naruto so we can get him out of there!" She yelled in his face.

Alana had a surprising look plastered on her face and sweat dropped_. Didn't Sakura say he was __the__ Neji Hyuuga? _

* * *

_Somewhere inside the Conveyer belt..._

Naruto took in a breath and screamed again.

And again...

"I need to get outta here!" He whispered to himself. He could feel his butt burn against the rubber of the moving floor. And then suddenly, the moving floor stopped. Naruto yelped in surprise and squished himself more against his body, if that was even possible. He let out pants of distress and began talking to himself.

"Okay...just be in my happy place." He quietly said. He closed his eyes, and began singing mentally.

_Twinkle, twinkle little star... _

_how I wonder what you are..._

_Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky..._

"Use your damn Byakugan and find Naruto so we can get him out of there!" A voice ringed through his dinosaur brain. Naruto lifted his head up, only to be hit on the top of the head by the ceiling of the conveyer belt. But in the dark, his blue, aqua eyes gleamed with happiness, he felt like he was at the Ichiraku Ramen again_. Does Sakura-chan really care about me? She's calling for help! For me_!

"For MEEEEEE!!!!!" Naruto squealed inside the vent...thing. The floor started moving forward again, As Naruto got hyped up, determined to get out of this disaster he slowly climbed above the baggages, hanging onto the one he grasped before he was sucked into the vent of doom. He slowly saw a light.

"This is it....!" He gasped. He quickly crawled to the light, wanting to be free.

"Ohayo Gozaimasu(Good morning) youthful Naruto-kun!" A loud, booming voice ringed through his eardrums.

"Huh?" Naruto looked up,** BAM!!** Their poor faces collided into each others. Lee, who was actually searching for HIS luggage turned out to be in the same situation as Naruto.

"Acckk!! Jesus Christ Lee!" He tried rubbing his bruised forehead. Lee looked up, seeing what damage he had caused.

"Oh, sorry Naruto-kun for damaging your youthful forehead!" He tried bowing his head again in apology, only to whack Naruto in the forehead again.

"LEE! STOP BOWING YOUR HEAD AND CAUSING ME BRAIN DAMAGE!" Naruto cried. Lee raised one of his bushy, black eyebrows.

"Youthful Neji told me you never had a..." the soup-bowled hair trailed off...

"Nevermind--Here, grab my hand and I'll get you out of here." Lee offered one of his bandaged hands, but only to be rejected.

"I'm good enough, **NO THANKS**! I was just near the light, the beautiful light..." His eyes glittered in glee, but then turned into a glare. "Until your fatass head banged against mine!"

Lee looked offended. "Gai-sensei said having this hair style is one of a kind... Not to mention youthful."

"Ahh! Just shut up about youthfulness! I'm sorry to break your bubble bud, but youthful stuff will always die!" The conveyer belt started moving backwards this time, driving them away from the light. Naruto yelled in surprise and dismay.

"Go Lee! Crawl to the light! _Go_!" Lee quickly tried to turn around, this time his butt facing Naruto's face. And since his green spandex acted like second layer of skin...

"DON'T FACE YOUR ASS IN MY BEAUTIFUL FACE, MAN!" He roared. Lee stuck his tounge out in concentration and in addition, wiggled his butt as he crawled through layers of luggage.

He stopped.

"What the hell are you doing Lee?! Keep moving!" Naruto cried, wanting to get out of this mess. Lee burped in discomfort.

"Ano.. (um,) I kinda had beans on the plane and my stomach is not feeling so youthful." He stuttered. And his face twisted into something that looked like when your taking a shit. It took Naruto a full ten seconds later to comprehend what went through his mind, and finally he understood what Lee meant.

"LEE DON'T YOU DARE FART IN MY**--**"

**. **

"LEE I'M GONNA KILL YOU WHEN WERE OUTTA THIS MOVING FLOOR PLACE!" Naruto screamed, glaring at him in anger.

"Hey, Naruto. You know what I noticed?" Lee began, ignoring Naruto's outburst. "That I can see the light." He pointed his pointer finger to the light.

Naruto's eyes glazed with happiness. "YES! I CAN BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU AFTER! BELIEVE IT!" Naruto hollered, throwing himself up into the air. He hit his head on the steel metal of the conveyer belt. "Ahh, shit!" He whined, putting his hands on his head.

"Are you okay, Naruto?" Lee asked half-heartedly. Naruto glared at him, but said nothing. Lee continued crawling forward. Naruto followed him.

* * *

"Byakugan!" Neji gasped.

"You guys! I thought we weren't supposed to be using our ninja skills when we went to college?" Shikamaru said.

Sakura waved him off. "This is an important situation, Shikamaru!"

"I would rather just leave him wherever he is," Alana muttered, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

"No! We must find Naruto!" Sai exclaimed. Everyone turned to him, shocked. "What?" He asked.

"You're really weird." Shikamaru mumbled. Sai shrugged.

Neji looked around the rotating vent, searching for our helpless Naruto. "I found him... with another person!" He exclaimed. Tenten went to the other end of the exit and planted her ear on top of the metal, listening for any movements_. _

_There's definately more than one person in there other than Naruto_... She pondered on her thoughts. Banging was then heard near the opening that Tenten was at. As loads of luggage tumbled out, uncluding voices were heard.

"WHO EATS BEANS ON THE PLANE!?" Boisted Naruto, plugging his nose due to the sudden smell. "YOU FREAKING IDIOT!!"

Neji discharged his ability and walked away from the scene. Lee then fell out after, gasping for air.

"It is not my fault Naruto-kun!" He shouted. He grabbed his baggage and walked away, steaming. Naruto gave a sneer, picked up his bag he'd been holding onto the whole conveyer belt trip and stomped away, with the rest of the group. Everyone held their belongings in their grasps. Alana and Sakura chatted, something about tampons and such while Shikamaru was mumbling to himself on how he wished he was outside watching clouds instead of having to hear the woman talk about toiletries. Sai was being... Sai.

_I think I'll have a little snack while we walk_... Naruto grinned at the thought, and stopped strolling and reached into the bag. Sakura and the others were stopped in mid-track as Naruto slowly opened his suitcase full of...

"WHAT THE CRAP?" He lifted a hot pink, push up bra, showing everyone. The girls gawked at Naruto as the Guys turned faint red_. _

_"Naruto..." _Everyone's eyes looked like they would explode out of their eye sockets.

_"_You packed_ bras?"_ Alana said in a hushed voice. She lifted a pink lingerie bra and underwear out of the suitcase. "And lingerie underwear?" Alana said, shoving the stuff back into the suitcase, turning her head away in disgust.

"DUDE, IS THIS A THONG!?" Naruto bellowed in excitement, holding up a... small piece of underwear. Sakura flinched, snatching the thong away and throwing it back into the suitcase, muttering a flow of curse words.

"I can't believe you packed that, Naruto!" Sai said in a mocking voice, holding his hand up to cover his mouth.

"Sai, you dumbass! You helped me pack my clothes and you should know that I don't even own any of this!" Naruto shouted, pointing at Sai.

Alana walked over to the tag of the suitcase, and read it out loud. "INO YAMANAKA."

Everyones eyes bulged wide, yet again. "Ino pig is going to our college, too!?" Sakura stomped her feet on the ground_. _

_And I thought this was the worst_, Sai thought, sweatdropping.

"No way! Ino's gonna be here too?" Shikamaru huffed, shifting his eyes. "I can't believe she wears this stuff!"

"Well, it's Ino pig." Sakura muttered, crossing her arms. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Who is she?" Alana asked, curious.

"A bitch with blonde hair!" Sakura spat. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "She's a girl who was on my team." Alana nodded, uninterested now.

"She's a slut! A whore! A two-face!" Sakura continued rambling on, getting animated with it.

"Sakura Haruno! Billboard brow! You can call me a bitch, but there is no way that I am a slut or any of those other things you called me!" Ino Yamanaka stammered, standing behind Sakura. Sakura jumped and spun around. Her eye twitched.

"My forehead is _NOT_ big, Ino pig!" Sakura stabbed a finger in Ino's face. Ino's eyes began twitching, too.

"You guys, break it up." Shikamaru said, walking in the middle of the two girls. They both turned around simultaneously, crossing their arms and sticking their noses into the air.

Suddenly, there was a loud cry coming behind everyone, towards the revolving door to get out of the airport.

"I wonder what's up?" Sai suddenly questioned. The rest shook their heads and grabbed their belongings again. When the two girls were done sticking their nose up in the air, Ino stuck her tounge out and taunted.

"Anyways, I'll be going now." She turned around and started walking away, "See some of you guys later, minus billboard brow." Sakura steamed up again,

"Bitch!"

Minutes later Ino began noticing that her luggage was a tad bit lighter than before she had packed. She shifted her eyes, and opened her bag.

"What the fuck?!" She fell backward on her butt as her opened suitcase containing spoiled ramen cups (that included water that somehow didn't evaporate) spilled its contents over.

"Ugh," She looked back, hoping to find the group. She spotted Naruto just staring at her pink bra in awe. She growled, trudging back.

"AHAHAAHA!" Naruto laughed in a very perverted way. He stretched the laced thong around his head, over his head, and around the boys' area. The others watched in disturbance as stomping noises were heard and turned around, facing a very, very red Ino. Naruto still kept stretching the thong, placed it away and took out the bra and wrapped it around his chest,

"I didn't know Ino had such big boo**--**"** SLAP.**

Ino walked out of the scene with her now packed up suitcase, leaving a very injured Naruto, laying half-dead.

"...Dattebayo." He wimpered.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Akane: Poor Naruto. Too bad he's perverted...and such. Let's blame Jiraiya! *Gets gun* ANYYYWAAAYYYSSSS. R&R! we'll really appreciate it! DO IT OR PEDOBEAR WILL GET YOU. **

**Loopy: Ahahahaaa, Pedobear. That was great. BTW, Naruto **_**would**_** do that with... Ino's stuff. R&R~!**


	6. Class Decisions

**Akane: Hey Loopy guess what time it is!**

**Loopy: TIME TO KILL SASUKE!!??! :D**

**Akane: ...No..that's next week. **

**Loopy: D: **

**Akane: It's time for the Disclaimer!! **

**Loopy: Kishimoto owns all characters in Naruto.. Except Alana.. that's mine! =w=**

**Akane: YAY! NOW PEOPLE CAN'T SUE US! **

* * *

Shikamaru and Sai got stuck carrying the very injured Naruto-knucklehead. Sai was carrying his feet and legs, while Shikamaru was holding him by the arms.

It was a very odd scene.

"That looks wrong," Alana murmured, freaked out.

"You guys! Put me down! I can walk _fine_!" Naruto flailed, jerking left and right. Shikamaru and Sai dropped him. "Ouch! Damn it, Alana!"

"Well, excuseeee me. I didn't even say anything, _baka_." Alana rolled her eyes.

"Where's Tenten and Lee?" Sakura asked.

"They went off to go find Hyuuga boy," Naruto answered lazily. He yawned. "I'm tired from crawling in a conveyer belt for a full hour and playing around with Ino's bras."

There was silence for the rest of the time until they arrived inside the college.

"Hey, Alana and Sakura, thanks for carrying all of our stuff." Sai said as he watched Alana and Sakura struggle with all the bags.

"Why is that man holding his cheek?" A person behind the front desk of Konoha Glaze asked.

_Because he's stupid._ Everybody except Naruto thought. They sweat dropped.

_Yeah, that's right! I'ma man! _Naruto thought while rubbing his cheek.

"Because he got slapped." Shikamaru simply said. The person smirked.

"Serves him right for messing with my thongs--I mean, belongings!" Ino stammered. She narrowed her eyebrows in embarrassment and stomped ahead to the sign up sheets for classes.

"Okay then..." Shikamaru and Sai kept dragging Naruto, along with the group to sign up for their classes.

* * *

"What kind of a college is this?!" Naruto pounded his hands--which were in fists--on the desk. Everyone had been stuck in a room to choose their classes.

"Naruto, please calm down." Iruka shushed him.

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE!?" Naruto continued.

"I... Wanted to get out?" He made his statement turn into a question.

"Oh, mmkay." Naruto muttered, shaking his head and crossing his arms. He rubbed his cheek, which had still hurt from Ino's bitch slap.

_"Yeah..._ So, anyway, girl with the dirty-blonde hair--" Iruka was interrupted.

"Alana..." she muttered.

"Yeah, Alana." Iruka sweat dropped. "Anyway, could you pass out the papers? So we can start choosing classes?"

"Normally, aren't we supposed to choose classes _before_ we arrive at college?" Sakura asked.

Iruka nodded. "Yeah, except the papers disappeared before we even got the chance to mail them. It was odd; one moment they were there, and the other they were gone!" _What an excuse... _everyone thought together. Iruka and Alana passed out the papers and to no one's surprise, Naruto had no idea what to do_._

_Shit...! What do I do_?! He panicked mentally. He grabbed his blond hair and looked down with widened eyes:

Uzumaki, Naruto's Block class selection: Limit of choices: 2

Half semesters:

Food

Sewing

Technology Education

Sex Education

Visual Art

Graphic class

Naruto had to do something--Anything_! Grrr! I didn't know you had to read to get into college! I'm so dead!_

Of course, Naruto didn't know. As he was arguing with himself, the others gave him weird looks.

"What an idiot." Sakura muttered. Alana nodded in agreement as Shikamaru dozed off to sleep at the back of the room and Sai... was just being Sai. Again. Uzumaki Naruto then had an idea. He took another look at his paper.

"Hey look! A number two!" He whispered happily to himself. At least he knew how to read numbers, right? He whistled a happy tune to himself_, All I gotta do is circle two of those choices eh? Hah! Nothing challenges Uzumaki Naruto!_ He circled Food and Sex ed. Hey; he never said it challenges him mentally.

* * *

Sakura looked at her choices carefully, wondering what she could improve upon herself.

_I think I might need a little improvement on my cooking... Temari and Ino had been having whooping coughs after eating my famous spaghetti soup._

She then circled Foods as her first choice.  
_"Maybe I lack my artistic side too..." She said to herself. Sakura then circled Art as her second choice grinned and flipped her paper over and relaxed._

* * *

Shikamaru...was sleeping. Dozing off in class and what?! Didn't he have enough sleep during the plane trip?

Technically not.

Nara, Shikamaru's block class selection: Limit of choices 2

Half semesters:

Food

Sewing

Technology Education

Sex Education

Visual Art

Graphic class

"Shikamaru Nara!" Iruka slammed a hand on Nara's desk. Alana chuckled when Shikamaru woke abruptly, jumping in his seat.

Shikamaru glared at the teacher. "Yeah?" He said lazily.

"Pay attention and fill out your paper!" Iruka exclaimed in an annoyed tone.

Shikamaru returned his attention to his paper, examining it. "All of these classes are stupid," He muttered while Iruka walked away, returning to the front of the class.

_Well, I like to eat. So I'm definitely choosing food. And my dad didn't want me to know about sex until I was older, so... I think I'm old enough. _Shikamaru thought. He checked food and sex education on his list. He returned trying to fall back asleep when he put his pencil down.

* * *

Alana stared at her paper in disgust. _Sex education!? Really!? _She spat mentally. _All the guys are probably going to choose that, except for maybe Sai and Lee..._

Alana's hand twitched; she was having a hard time choosing which class she should take. Honestly, she wanted to be in the guys' class; she had always gotten along better with boys anyway.

Kimura, Alana's block class selection: Limit of choices 2

Half semesters:

Food

Sewing

Technology Education

Sex Education

Visual Art

Graphic class

Alana was gripping her #2 pencil pretty hard. She felt it bend, so she loosened her grip. _What the hell do I pick!?_ She exclaimed in her head. She rested her head on her desk, holding her head with her hands.

After about ten minutes sitting like that, Alana finally decided her classes; Sewing and Sex Ed. It took her a lot to put a check mark next to that. She only chose that class because she knew most of guys would choose it, and she could make perverted comments.

* * *

Sai looked coolly down at his paper.

Sai's block class selection: Limit of choices 2

Half semesters:

Food

Sewing

Technology Education

Sex Education

Visual Art

Graphic class

_Heheheh... Penis_. He thought and immediately circled Sex Ed. He could care less for any other classes so he picked Art; since it was the only thing he would do in his free time and... Any other time he has.

* * *

Morning meeting was over. As the students disperse into the hallways, meeting other people as Iruka-Sensei picked up the papers and started reading off class forms.

"Naruto took Foods and... Sex education?" He flipped to another sheet of paper, "Shikamaru, Alana and Sai also took Sex Ed?!" He dramatically threw the papers down on a desk. "Why must these students be so perverted?! WHY!!?" He broke down crying.

Outside a window a shadowy figure stared into the building, snickering and quickly diving back into the bushes, not to be seen.

After Iruka's fatal breakdown, he stood back up and sighed to himself. Question was again, **WHY!!?!?!** (Will ya quit asking?)

Our dear, Iruka-Sensei is teaching Sex Education this year.

"...I'll need to ask Jiraiya a favor." He whimpered to himself.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES!! **

**Akane: **_**DAMN! 3 updates in ONE day.**_

**Loopy: **_**HELL YEAH! R&R PEOPLE!**_

**Akane: **_**I STILL GOT PEDOBEAR IN MY CLOSET!**_

**Loopy: **_**...Alright then.**_

**Akane: **_**....Too much info...**_

**Akane: **_**Loopy, stop watching your perverted movie and get your butt here!**_

**Loopy: **_**IT'S NOT A PERVERTED MOVIE I SWEAR TO GOD. IT'S A MICHAEL MEYERS (sp?) AND IT'S CREEPING THE SHEIT OUTTA ME. Dx**_

**Akane: ...While Loopy calms down a review would be nice x3! **

**AKANE: ****Oh yeah, I just recently got a DeviantART account and I would LOVE to draw some fanarts for people's story I love to read, so if I happen to love your story I would like to draw a scene or two! ...yes I would ask you first XD! So send requests for me to read ur Naruto fic! You never know I might just like it :D okayyy A/Ns are NOT supposed to be this long...**

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

WATCH OUT FOR PEDOBEAR.


	7. East&West Side

**Disclaimer:**

**Akane and Loopy do not own the original Naruto Characters. They rightfully belong to Kishimoto-san. **

**Now if we did, wouldn't they be tortured right now?**

* * *

Naruto and the gang roamed around the college, admiring it's portraits of people who were important to the society and had set records in track meats and such. Our first to speak was the one and only, Naruto.

"Hey," He started out quietly to everyone surprise. They looked back giving him attention,

"WHAT'S THAT?!?!" He hollered, pointing his accusing finger at the board. The rest sighed, Naruto couldn't control his volume. Sakura Haruno came into play, she pulled his ear lobe and whispered loudly that everyone could hear.

"Shut up, NARUTO!" He flinched greatly and backed off.

Shikamaru smirked at the scene and looked at the bulletin board Naruto was curious about. "A board of events that will be holding place?" He rolled his eyes, uninterested and strolled along, followed by the rest of the group, leaving Alana hanging.

"Dude there's going to be a skinny dip contest?!" She gave herself a whiplash while turning, getting the guys' attention, as Naruto runs back.

"I KNOW WHAT SKINNY DIP IS!" He shouted, but then when he reached the board he re-read it, "Sunny tripping..." His voice trailed off. Alana burst out laughing and ran back to the others as our hyperactive Ninja gawked in disappointment.

Don't worry, Naruto. You'll get your chance!

...Eventually.

"There's a meeting for us at three." Shikamaru simply said. The others continued exploring the large estate.

"Hey; Since we already chose our classes, why not go there to see where it is before the official day of college starts?" Sakura suggested. The boys and Alana gave each other awkward looks, and looked away from one another. She raised an eyebrow, "Is there something wrong guys?" Alana immediately shook her head,

"N-nothing!" She turned beat red.

"Okay, then let's go!" Sakura excitedly squealed, grabbing a map in the cafeteria that was in the center of Konoha Glaze and reading it out loud.

"Foods, Graphics and Visual Art will be around the west side of the building, while Sewing, Sex Education and Technology Education are on the east side." She smiled. "Okay, Alana lets head into the west side!" She grabbed her arm to drag her off, but no prevail. The dirty-blonde resisted the jerk, staying in one place.

"Something wrong there?"

Alana turned red again, _Shit. Sex education is on the other side._ "Uh.. I gotta use the bathroom! So take Shikamaru with yah!" She quickly exclaimed.

"Shikamaru?" He also turned his head away, facing the wall.

"I'm going to wait for Sai."

Sakura was getting curious now; did she smell or something? She's like a repellant to everyone right now! The pink-haired konochi looked over to the only person remaining_. Naruto_... She mentally twitched.

"Do you have something to ask me, Sakura-chan?" He made his puppy-face. Sakura's right eye twitched and she looked away and quietly mumbled.

"I can't hear you." mumble mumble mumble. Naruto was having a lot of fun doing this, he knew Sakura wouldn't go into unknown territory on her own without a companion.

"...You want to accompany me." She dead-panned. Naruto had score the jack pot! The alone time with Sakura, the time with Sakura, and Sakura! Did he mention he's going to spend a quiet moment with Sakura-Chan?!

"Nope." He grinned. Her eyeballs looked like they would explode any second as her mouth twitched into an evil, angry smirk,

"Why not." It wasn't a question; It was a _demand. _He pointed his finger at Alana, Shikamaru and Sai.

"I need to go with them." Sakura had her last layer of patience, which had been punctured as she steamed up on the whole group.

"Why the hell do ALL of you need to go to the east side?!" Alana glanced at Sakura, smiling sheepishly as Shikamaru scratched the back of his head and Naruto giving a small chuckle as Sai was ...being Sai. Sakura glared at Sai.

"Why do you need to go over on that side? Do I smell?" Sakura asked. Sai gave his weird smile and simply answered.

"Penis." Sakura anime-dropped, falling backwards. Once she got back up on her feet she stared at Sai.

"We're... Kinda taking... Sex education?" Alana slowly explained. Sakura paled slowly as she picked herself up, trotting alone in the hallway.

"Nice way to put it." Shikamaru sarcastically remarked. She shrugged.

"She'll get over it." Alana waved her hand away at nothing and grinned. She looked over her shoulder to take a glance at Sakura, who was moping around.

Sakura turned back to glance at them, and caught Alana glancing at her. _She's almost as bad as Ino! Ahh, actually, no. She's okay_. Alana stuck her tongue out at her, and threw a peace sign, turning back to walk away with Shikamaru.

As Naruto and Sai walked away with Shikamaru and Alana, he waved at Sakura. Sakura glared at him and Sai, but turned her back to them, walking away.

"Bye Sakura!" She heard Naruto shout, laughing.

* * *

As Sakura was walking in the hallway, she saw people she knew; Tenten, Temari, Lee, and Neji. She power walked to them.

"Hey you guys!" She said excitedly. They all smiled her, except for Lee.

"SAKURA-CHAN!" He said, hearts in his eyes. Sakura sweat dropped.

"Hey, Lee."

"SAKURA-CHAN! YOU LOOK SO YOUTHFUL!"

"Ah, thanks, Lee."

Everyone except for the two laughed. "Lee, you're scaring her." Neji muttered. Tenten chuckled, a grin on her face.

"So... Where are you guys going?" Sakura tried starting a conversation. Tenten just shrugged and answered with...

"I'm taking sewing and Foods." Neji didn't answer. Tenten nudged him to at least give one since it's been awhile since they've seen each other.

"Graphics..." _nudge, nudge. _"...And Art." He looked away, muttering something about destiny.

"I see. Well how about you Temar--" Sakura got cut off by Temari's proud, booming voice.

"I'm taking food and Sex Education, baby!" She smiled to herself and closed her eyes.

"Bring on the smex!" She snickered to herself evilly, making others worry slightly about our tough konochi.

_I can't even imagine her and Alana in the same room... _Sakura thought, sweat dropping while her eyes went wide.

"Just wait--all the hot guys teach Sex Education, didn't you know?" She asked.

"Okay then."

"And then we get to learn about--!" Temari got cut off with Tenten putting a hand over her mouth.

"That's enough, Temari." Tenten muttered.

_Her and Alana are gonna end up being good friends. _Sakura thought. "So, Lee, what classes do you have?" Sakura asked half-heartedly.

Lee blushed since Sakura was addressing him.

"Well, I chose art so I can express my youthfulness! And then I took sewing so I could make my own stuff!"

Sakura sweat dropped yet again, her mouth in the shape of an 'O'. Now her eyes _really_ looked like they would pop out of their sockets.

"Th-that-t's-gr-eat, L-le-e." Sakura stuttered.

_What's up with her?_ Neji thought, looking away.

_God, Lee just HAD to be in my Art class.. just imagine what he would do if class started._

* * *

~ In Sakura's Imagination ~

_"Ohayo Sensei!" Lee yelled in joy as he entered the classroom with the new geekiest clothes you can ever imagine, along with his soup-bowl haircut. The teacher smiled and shouted.._

_"Lee, welcome to class, please take your seat right next to... hmm, Sakura Hormones?" _

_"It's Haruno.. not Hormones." Sakura spat. __**Shit!**__ She thought, __**Lee is sitting right next to me? That's just great as pumpkin fuc--**_

_"Hi, Sa-sakura..." He stuttered as he took his seat. She sighed and waved him a Hi and turned away from his presence. The teacher walked around and nodded to herself and announced, pushing up her glasses. _

_"I am not your real teacher, but the real one is very enthusiastic, doing 500 laps around the whole college while eating mash potatoes and juggling kitties." Sakura then gave herself a whiplash turning to the teacher in disbelief. A sweat rolled down her forehead slowly__**...**_

_**500 laps? Juggling kitties? Why does that sound so freaking familiar...?**_

_**WHOOSH!**__** A screeched ringed through everyone's ears, then skidding to a stop.**_

_"G..." Lee's eyes glittered. Sakura faced him with a weird out face. Lee then jumped out of his seat, thrusting both fists in the air with fire in his eyes._

_"GAI-SENSEI!!!!" The man who entered the classroom in a very weird fashion had the same bowl haircut as Lee, except in a green spandex Lee was in at the airport, and amazingly pearly white teeth. He flashed a smile, blinding everyone. __**What the hell!? Does he brush his teeth after every time he breathes?!**_

_"LEE! MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT!" He ran to the middle of the room as Lee sprinted towards him into a gripping, firm hug as the background slowly changed from a classroom, to a horizon at the beach, waves crashing in. Oddly, the both cried together in joy._

_"GAI-SENSEI!!!"_

_"LEE!!!!"_

* * *

**"AHHH! HOLY SHIT!" **Sakura cried in horror. Her scared face was facing Lee's, making him worry. Lee decided to be a respectful man and gave Sakura a comforting hug. Sakura stiffened up a hundred times more, having the memory flashed back and did the only rightful thing that any Haruno would do right now.

She kneed him where he wouldn't bear any children for the rest of his life.

After five minutes of Lee groaning in pain, everyone decided to walk to their classes.

* * *

**A/N: **

**Akane: …Every guy is starting to get kicked in the bawls. Who shall be next? LOL :D. **


	8. Schedules

**Akane: Disclaimer time! **

**Loopy: ...Every guy gets kicked in the bawls.. heheh.. **

**Akane: Me nor Loopy owns the original Naruto characters... who rightfully belongs to Kishimoto!**

**Loopy: *KICKS* Alana belongs to me!**

**Akane: Loopy... **

**Loopy:? **

**Akane: =.= I don't have any balls you idiot.**

**Loopy: o.o... I knew that.**

* * *

2:58PM, ROOM 208

"Okkayy, everybody. Welcome to the first KGC meeting of the year. Today we will explaining all of your class schedule and who you're rooming with," Tsunade began. "I'll be your principal. My name's Tsunade."

"What the heck!? First Iruka, and now you?!" Sakura exclaimed. _Why are they here? Wait, is _everybody_ from Konoha here?_

"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered. _This is so annoying._

"Tuna-who?" Alana asked from the back.

"Tsunade."_ Who names their kid that!?_ Tsunade picked up papers up from the front desk.

"These papers will be telling you what and where your classes will be." She began passing out the schedules, scrambling around the room from one end to the other. Naruto stared at his paper like a doofus.

"Shikamaru..." He started. Shikamaru gave a glance at him, giving him a signal to continue on.

"What does this say?" He pointed to a word on his paper. Shikamaru sweat-dropped. _Really, he doesn't know how to read?_

"Naruto."

"How about this word?" Naruto continued on.

"Uzumaki's." He landed his finger on another word.

"Schedule." He pointed to the next word.

"For."

"This one?"

"Konoha Glaze College." Naruto then shot up from the air from his chair.

"WE'RE IN COLLEGE?!" Everyone in the room gave him a weird look, and went back to discussing about their plans, lockers, etc etc.

"Oh yeah, Tsunade-sama.." Sakura came up to the very booby woman. She looked back at Sakura, raising an eyebrow,

"Shouldn't you be doing your duty at Konoha?" Naruto snickered_, Haha, she said DUTY! (**Akane: My english teacher does that when I say duty)**_

"I suppose; But the last time I remember was I was drinking a lot and i blacked out.." She grinned, "That's how I was assigned here!" While Sakura started moping around again, Shikamaru and the others looked over their schedules.

* * *

_Welcome, __Nara, Shikamaru!__ for attending Konoha Glaze! We hope you enjoy your stay with us and to inform you our schedule is that each class lasts a maximum of 50 minutes. Your 4th period class will last for an hour. On a early dismissal, which classes are cut to 45 minutes, but your 4th period class will stay the same. On early outs, your schedule will go in the order where your 4th and 5th period are switched. Have fun, Shikamaru! _

_Shikamaru Nara's Schedule for Konoha Glaze College:_

_**1: Sex Education / 2nd Semester: Foods**_

_**2: Advanced Language Arts**_

_**3: Advanced Social Studies**_

_**4: Advanced Math (Calculus? I dunno XD)**_

_**5: Study hall**_

_**6: Science**_

_**7: Physical Education**_

"Troublesome..." Shikamaru sighed and looked out the window, quickly dazing off.

* * *

_Welcome, __Uzumaki Naruto!__ for attending Konoha Glaze! We hope you enjoy your stay with us and to inform you our schedule is that each class lasts a maximum of 50 minutes. Your 4th period class will last for an hour. On a early dismissal, which classes are cut to 45 minutes, but your 4th period class will stay the same. On early outs, your schedule will go in the order where your 4th and 5th period are switched. Have fun, Naruto! _

_Naruto Uzumaki's Schedule for Konoha Glaze College:_

_**1: Sex Education / 2nd Semester: Foods**_

_**2: Basic Math**_

_**3: Physical Education**_

_**4: Social Studies**_

_**5: Basic Language Arts**_

_**6: Science**_

_**7: Study hall**_

"I'll pass college.. Believe it!" Naruto grinned to himself.

* * *

_Welcome, __Haruno Sakura!__ for attending Konoha Glaze! We hope you enjoy your stay with us and to inform you our schedule is that each class lasts a maximum of 50 minutes. Your 4th period class will last for an hour. On a early dismissal, which classes are cut to 45 minutes, but your 4th period class will stay the same. On early outs, your schedule will go in the order where your 4th and 5th period are switched. Have fun, Sakura! __**P.S: Sorry, but Foods was too full for you to enter; so we have placed you in Sex Education.**_

_Sakura Haruno's Schedule for Konoha Glaze College:_

_**1: Sex Education / 2nd Semester: Arts**_

_**2: Advanced Language Arts**_

_**3:Science**_

_**4: Advanced Math**_

_**5:Social Studies**_

_**6:Study hall**_

_**7: Physical Education**_

"WHAT?!" She burst out, granting attention from everyone, "WHY THE HELL AM I IN SEX ED?!" Students started whispering to one another, backing away from the Haruno.

"Sakura. We've already talked about your cussing issue. Please take your seat." Tsunade gave a slight glare at Haruno for a poor first impression, as the other figure sunk down in her chair, sulking.

* * *

_Welcome, __Sai!__ for attending Konoha Glaze! We hope you enjoy your stay with us and to inform you our schedule is that each class lasts a maximum of 50 minutes. Your 4th period class will last for an hour. On a early dismissal, which classes are cut to 45 minutes, but your 4th period class will stay the same. On early outs, your schedule will go in the order where your 4th and 5th period are switched. Have fun, Sai! _

_Sai's Schedule for Konoha Glaze College:_

**1: Sex Education/ 2nd**** semester; Art**

**2: Basic Math**

**3: Physical Education**

**4: Social Studies**

**5: Study hall**

**6: Language Arts**

**7: Science**

Sai did nothing but stared at his paper, nothing going through his mind.

* * *

"Great, I better not end up with that retarded Naruto." Sakura hissed quietly to herself. Still, Naruto might have classes for basic stuff. But you can never be sure…

Shikamaru was sleeping, Naruto was staring at his paper like a doofus, and Sai was being… Sai. What could go wrong with this meeting? Hand out schedules.. Not that bad.

"Yosh!" Tsunade announced loudly, getting everyone's attention.

"I could really need some ramen right now.." Naruto whimpered to himself.

"Time to announce your roommates. The dorm room selection begins…Now!" Tsunade held up a thick pile of papers.

_Ooh the joy of picking out their dorm mates._

* * *

**A/N:**

**Akane: Whew! Sorry this update took so long! Me and Loopy kinda went into Lala-land… and I've been updating my stories of my own too so ^^'', so has Loopy! I decided to give you guys a break so you guys won't have to remember every BIT of their schedule AND their dorm mates. That's too much for us too T_T. If you like to help us decide who's going to room with who in a review please! Or message us! If you want to read more of our stories… or the stories me and Loopy thought up individually, please visit me at ****.net/~imitationcrimson**** And visit Loopy for her story at ****.net/~xLoopy**

**Loopy: HELL YEAH!**

**Akane: You know that kick still hurts, right? =_=**

**Loopy: =v=''…heheh. **

**_Please take your time and memorize some of the schedules. On some chapters you might be lucky that we might post_**

**_their schedules at the beginning of each chapter. Other times, you won't be so fortunate. _**

**_More work for us; dorm mate memorization time! *groans in frustration*_**

_Please Review some ideas!_


	9. Dorms

**Loopy: FIRST OF ALL. If you guys are confused about chapter seven & eight, read:  
THERE WAS A TIME SKIP BETWEEN THE CLASSES AND THE MEETING. We decided not to give anything away and just go right to the meeting. xD; Make sense?**

**Akane: Wow, Loopy, you actually sounded smart.**

**Loopy: SHUT UP! -kicks-**

**Akane: =.= You do know that I seriously don't have those parts, riiiight?**

**Loopy: ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Akane: So demanding. _ Naruto rightfully belongs to Kishimoto! Alana belongs to Loopy!**

* * *

"Okay, now we will go over dorms. Dorms--" Tsunade got cut off.

"HEY! I never got my paper." Alana said while raising her hand.

"Wait until you're called on, Kimura!"

"You said 'raise your hand next time', so I did."

Tsunade rolled her eyes, handing Alana her paper.

_ Welcome, __Alana Kimura!__ for attending Konoha Glaze! We hope you enjoy your stay with us and to inform you our schedule is that each class lasts a maximum of 50 minutes. Your 4th period class will last for an hour. On a early dismissal, which classes are cut to 45 minutes, but your 4th period class will stay the same. On early outs, your schedule will go in the order where your 4th and 5th period are switched. Have fun, Alana!_

_Alana Kimura's Schedule for Konoha Glaze College:_

_**1: Sex Education / 2nd Semester: Sewing**_

_**2: Advanced Language Arts**_

_**3: Social Studies**_

_**4: Advanced Math**_

_**5: Physical Education**_

_**6: Science**_

_**7: Study hall**_

Alana stared at her class schedule for the first semester.

"Tuna has bad grammar," Alana began muttering to herself. "'Welcome, Alana Kimura! for attending Konoha Glaze!'?"

"Oh, and great, I have advanced math. Gah!" She mumbled, resting her head on her desk.

Suddenly, something popped into Alana's head.

"WHEN'S LUNCH!?" She shouted out loud without bothering to raise her hand. Tsunade turned around to glare at Alana.

"Next time raise your hand, Kimura," Tsunade scolded. "And lunch will be in the middle of fourth period. So in the middle of fourth period, you will head to lunch, and then straight back to fourth period."

Sakura raised her hand.

"Yes, Sakura?" Tsunade called.

"Okay, so you said it's in the middle of fourth period, right? Well, I did the math, and if school begins at seven thirty five, and we have fifty minutes for each class, we'll have lunch around eleven, right?"

"Yes, Sakura. That's correct. Also, you'll have five minutes between each passing time. First period begins at 7:35 AM, and then until 8:25 AM the first period ends. Then second period starts at 8:30 after passing time. Third period goes until 9:25. Third period ends at 10:15. Fourth period goes till 10:20 and goes to 10:50 and then you go to lunch. After lunch, which is an hour, you return to fourth period to finish up class at 11:55. You finish up class at 12:50 and start 5th period at 12:55. 5th period goes till 1:45 and 6th period starts at 1:50. Final period starts at 2:45 and you finish classes for the day at 3:35." Tsunade explained to the class.

Naruto let out a huff while raising his hand. "Okayyy... So when's lunch?"

"She just said, you idiot." Alana said.

"YOU! SHUT UP!" Naruto shouted, standing up from his chair. Tsunade's eyes looked like they would erupt from their sockets.

_What a drag,_ Shikamaru thought.

"NARUTO! SIT DOWN! KIMURA! DON'T CALL PEOPLE IDIOTS!" Tsunade shouted, causing the two to stop bickering at each other.

"My name is _Alana_, not _Kimura_." Alana shot at her, glaring. _I hate teachers,_ she thought.  
"If you can call me Tuna, then I can call you _Kimura_, got it?" Tsunade shot back. Alana backed down, resting her head down on the desk.

_Heehee, _Kimura_ got owned, _Naruto thought.

_I HATE FUCKING TEACHERS! PRINCIPALS! WHATEVER TUNA IS!_ Alana exploded mentally, grabbing her hair as if she were going to rip it out. Naruto just kept laughing. After his hysterical breakdown was over, he held his stomach.

"AHAHAHA!!... But, seriously. When's lunch?" Everyone face-palmed. Alana decided to smack Naruto on the back of his head.

"You, IDIOT."

"KIMURA!!!" Tsunade put her rage mask on.

"MY NAME ISN'T KIMURA!!"

"I WANT LUNCH!!!"

Here we go, _again._

* * *

"Alright, everyone. Stop talking." Tsunade silenced the conversations that were going on. All the girls were chatting with each other--Sakura, Alana, Temari, Hinata, Ino, and Tenten. Naruto, Sai, Neji, Lee, Shikamaru, and Kiba were talking to each other about who was the strongest out of them all.

"Now that we've figured out class schedules," Tsunade began, picking up a piece of paper and looking around the room to make sure that everyone was paying attention. "We will now be figuring out who is with who for the dorm rooms."

"DORM ROOMS!? YES!" Alana shouted with a wide smile planted on her face.

"Anyways... our first room which has five people in it includes Naruto, Alana, Lee, Temari, and Tenten." Naruto was about to speak, but got his trap shut by Tsunade's glare.  
If Naruto couldn't speak up, Alana could.

"You're kidding me." She said in a monotone voice, staring at Tsunade at disbelief. Tsunade shook her head. Alana crossed her arms, and turned her head to glare at Naruto. Naruto held the same expression. Neither said a word to each other.

_This will give me a chance to kill her!_ Naruto thought, turning his head away.

"Next dorm room shall have..." Tsunade went on, "Ino, Sakura, Sai, and Hinata." Ino and Sakura glared at each other.

"I can't be with that monster! The mutant!" Ino shouted, pointing at Sakura.

"I can't be with that wh--!" Sakura stopped herself from saying what she was about to say, remembering that this was school. "Whatever, I'll be the mature one." Sakura rolled her eyes. Ino sat back down, glaring at Tsunade with a pout on her face.

_Mature?_ Kiba thought.

Hinata just nodded at the mention of her name.

"Last room shall be Shikamaru, Neji, and Kiba." She looked at the boys, then to everyone. All the guys grinned.

"Awesome, no girls to annoy the crap outta us!" Kiba said with a grin. _Dang it, _Kiba thought internally. He rested his head on his desk.

"Does anybody want to volunteer for something?" Tsunade suddenly asked. Since Kiba was dozing off, he stupidly raised his hand with a bit of hesistation.

"Sure... I guess?" Tsunade smiled and re-read her paper.

"Okay, good, because a student signed up at the last minute. Our last room shall be Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, and _Sasuke Uchiha_."

Everyone went silent.

Naruto couldn't believe it. Sasuke was attending this college. No one said a word.

"Anyways... have fun, okay?" Tsunade tried to comfort.

No one replied.

"I. SAID. HAVE FUN, _OKAY_!?" she bellowed. Everyone nodded immediately.

"Y-yes ma'am." They said in sync.

The almond eyed Hokage smiled again. Everyone read the unsaid words behind her eyes.  
_You better not get in any shit, _They said.  
_  
_Suddenly, Naruto raised his hand.

"Yes, Naruto?" Tsunade called.

"What's a dorm room?" Naruto said, narrowing his eyes while looking up at the blonde principal.

Hinata sighed, looking down. _Naruto-kun, you're so full of questions..._

"A dorm room, or _dormitory,_ is a certain building at colleges that contain a number of private or semiprivate rooms for the students--in which this case, you guys. In our dorm rooms here at Konoha Glaze, there are two bunk beds. That means four people can sleep in a room."

Tenten and Temari raised their hands at the same time.

"Yes?" Tsunade called.

"WHAT ABOUT THE ROOM WITH FIVE PEOPLE IN IT!?" The two yelled out.

"That's for you guys to figure out."

Alana's left eye twitched. _You, ma'am, are insane._ She so much wanted to say that out loud, but kept her mouth shut.

_Wow,_ Sakura thought. _Oddly, Naruto didn't say anything, which is out of character for him._

Ino raised her hand.

"Ino," Tsunade called while rolling her eyes. She was getting sick of questions.

"There are bathrooms, right?"

"Yes, Ino. There is one bathroom."

"ONE BATHROOM?" Ino gawked, her mouth wide. Tsunade nodded.

_Ino would ask that._ Shikamaru thought, glancing at the girl.

"One more question." Tsunade announced to the class, sighing. "Yes, Sai?" Tsunade called out when Sai raised his hand.

"What about rules?" He asked in a serious tone.

Everyone groaned, glaring at Sai. Sai just grinned.

"Good question." Tsunade grinned back.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sooo. Yeah. That's chapter nine. ^0^ Sorry we haven't updated in a while! Merry Christmas!**

**OH AND.**

**Just to let you guys remember whose with who for the dorm rooms, here's the list:  
**  
**Ino, Sai, Sakura, Hinata**

**Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba**

**Naruto, Alana, Tenten, Lee, Temari**

**We took **_**forever**_** to choose these. We literally wrote down the names of everybody on post-it notes and picked randomly like 151315413 times. :3**

**~ Loopy & Akane**


End file.
